Wednesday, October 05, 2005

....losing myself

It's been a long day. Work 10a-12p, test 12.30p-2.00p, class 2.30-3.30p, lab 3.30p-5.30p then class 6p-9p. Isn't that exciting? I feel like crap today. I am totally beat, I feel lonely and I feel like breaking down and cry towards the end of the day. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's just one of those days.

So yes, I made my decision oon coming home after I graduate for good. Full-time job? Kuching? Maybe. Aim? Apart..fate?? yes.. we will try hard to make it happen. Although I know it's gonna be hard for us, but if this is gonna make everybody happy, I'll do it. Who knows..I might be happy with my decision later...right?

I told Lynne, Ron and Bill (palmr Museum family) about it. Can't help seeing the reaction on Bill's face. He's like a dad to me here and he seemed to be very upset with my decision. I will not be seeing him again here..I will not get to have our little talk at the museum and most importantly, I will not get to cry happily or sadly in his arms anymore. I am damn sure that I am gonna miss him. I wish I have a picture of him right now and post it onto this blog, but my computer's dead, so, yea..maybe later.

Basically I'm back to square one. Thinking and thinking if I am actually making the right choice.

Nope..I don't wanna cry. I got a homework due tomorrow. I havent even started working on that yet. Better go..till then..assalamualaikum..

To my beloved family back home, Selamat Ramadhan. I really miss u guys. Oopps..there goes my first drop of tears in the month of Ramadhan...


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