It's late. Me not asleep yet. Just got off the phone, talking to mak. haven't called her in a while. It's been crazy this week. Exams and all. No different from any other weeks.
Now? Tears filled up my two big, wide eyes. If I have more than two eyes, I bet that I would fill those up fast too with these feelings I have.
Basically, I don't know what to feel, how to act. I miss home, yes. Miss my family, yes. However, I still do not think the WHOLE family misses me, if you know what I mean. Sometimes, I cry at night, thinking abt all the things that I did, all the words that I said, all the hearts that I've broken. And why exactly am I crying in my room right now again? I don't think the whole thing was totally my fault!
One simple wish I have; I do want things to be right again. Everything. What if this is gonna be the last time you hear from me? Are you gonna cry for me anyway? Aren't you gonna miss me at all? Not even close? Naaa..whatever..*sigh*
Today, JPA deposited the Nov-Dec-Jan allowance. Kinda excited about that. But na'ah..considering that I won't be receiving my paycheck this Friday, due to some Human Resource's fault, I am not too excited anymore afterall.
Another sad news. Mak's package-shipment exception. What does that suppose to mean? Erk? Of course I did call the FedEx people, and they need confirmation about the content of the package. No no, it's the Malaysian inspection, they are so full of crap! I had already declared the things I sent into this one long document, but NNNOOOO they need EXTRA EXTRA info. WHAT???!! Urgh, I hope the package will be delivered really soon. Before Raya please?? Pretty, pretty pleaassee..?? *another sigh*
I am seriously CRAVING to type up something happily on my blog. I seriously do, but there is NO WAY that I can lie about my inner feelings. I can't fake it (unlike some people..) so do not expect all the fakeness to come from me. At least not for now. hehe..
I gotta get going. If you're confused of what I posted in this blog, ignore it. It's just this stupid mixed-feelings of mine. Tomorrow: work, meeting, class, work. Conclusion: duh!!!