What if..

I'm in my room, on this one fine Saturday morning. Being alone, making me start thinking of so many things; my past, my sweet memories with my family, my friends and my special one, him. It makes me think of bad memories, also with the people that I love. Externally, people see me as a cheerful, happy girl. Inside, nobody knows but me..and of course Him. Today-football day-happy?-maybe.

Yesterday, spent some time with the girls; Am, Kun and Nard. Had so much fun. It's always nice to have such good times with the girls. They make me forget about the crap that happened the night before. It made me stop crying. Made me feel entertained and soothed, indirectly. Shopped, talked, laughed a lot. But all the laughters..gone when I am left alone here in my room at night. I feel like crap. Having a fight like that with her makes me feel uncomfy. I tend to want to cry all the time. Maybe I was wrong after all.

If YOU happen to see this, I would like to apologize from deep down my heart. I am sorry for acting the way I did. Being disrespectful of YOU and all. From now, I won't interfere with your life..One thing that I ask, please be the old YOU again. I want to have the relationship that we once had again. I want us to share our laughters and sadness like we used to. I don't wanna stay in a fight like this, EVER.

Is my decision right? Do they really want me home? Do they really miss me after all? My presence there, I don't think it's needed in anyways. I am just one heck of a neglected girl..Wallahu'alam..

To Zai especially; I miss you.. MMU girls: Reen, Ika, Rad, Ami, Ani, Nad, Sap - you guys are always in my mind. Wish I could go back to the times that we have so much fun together..miss you guys so DAMN much!