Feeling down..to the ground..

It felt wrong. It felt empty. I feel sad..disappointed..frustrated..mad? confused and upset. I guess I couldn't find the right words to describe my emotions today. It was in fact a mixture of feelings..bad ones!

Somehow, after crying, I start to realize the silver linings in this black, greyish clouds in my life these days. maybe it will make me be a better person. Those words from her might be a stepping stone for me to move forward. InsyaAllah. Somehow, my inner feelings says it is really hard for me to change who i am..i don't understand..what the hell is wrong with being friendly? i can't be friends with the lower level employees? who the hell set the rules? are they allowed to tell me who i can and cannot mix with? isn't that considered as my personal life? WTF??!! it hurts when i actually had to sit there..listening to her..and not say a word..whatever it is, one thing i told myself, I DON'T WANNA B A STUCK UP ENGINEER..that ain't me! so please understand..judge me based on my work, not my size or my personality. Wasn't that's what you said to me, in my face, during the interviews??!!!

And her. Another thing that's been bothering me all night. I understand my role. I understand that I HAVE to respect her no matter how wrong she can be. Tonight I felt like a bigger person. I had the guts to say sorry. I'm loud. I'm outspoken. I voice out what I feel and think. Maybe for some people including her, that's rude. For me, that's straightforward. Some people refuse to accept the truth and choose to be mad about it and try so hard, in fact, extra hard to defend themselves and prove themselves right. But I don't care. For me, personally, if you think you're right, nobody can stop you from feeling that way. However, if you know you're wrong, be a bigger person by saying sorry. Do not act based on your feelings, but think before you act. Hitting me on the back? Why? Why did she have to do that? Out of control? Or just acting without using her mind? Also, strangling me on my throat? Was i that wrong? Did i deserve to be killed just because i said NO? Some people can really get out of their mind when they're mad. So, I vote for "being straightforward and rude" rather than hurting other people that you love, physically. No matter how hard they hit me on my back or strangled me on top my throat, my respect for them both was still there. Frankly, things will never be the same. Never. Period.

My eyes. Swollen. My heart. Squashed. My head. Spinning. Can't think. Can't run. Live with it. Be strong. Move on. Thanks sayang. Thanks Sue. I have no idea how can I go through these drama without both of you. Praying to Him, so things would be better as time passes by..insyaAllah..

To all the Muslims out there,
Selamat Menyambut bulan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. May God bless us all..~Amin.

Also a shout out to Sue,
HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY Gurl! Hope you'll have a great one!

B!tcH

Once a bitch, always a bitch. At least I think so. No, no, you don't have to change..just stay away from me..allright? To all the bitches out there, or anybody who wants or intend to be one..a.k.a wannabe's, BUZZ OFF yea? Chow!

Me in emo mode..excuse you!

After some time

I finally have the time to update my blog. Nothing much is going on. Just work and some events in my life. Recently, the company celebrated its 10th year anniversary. We had our annual dinner and of course I was a part of it as the committee (dah kata baru and fresh, of coz la kene buli kan rakan2?) i didn't get to take too many pictures though. I was too busy helping out. The funny thing is, despite the "busy"ness, I had the chance to walk up the stage..as one of the winners of the best dressed female that night..mwahahahah!!! Just in case you're wondering, the theme was International costumes..x pasal2 I actually earn RM50 for my so-called perempuan melayu terakhir costume..er, shopping anyone? LOL!

The doorgift and registration committee (from left):
Jafni, Lilianty, Ting S.L (Dutch Lady costume), myself, Sylvia and Bb (my boss)

From left:
Temenggung Juahir, Puteri Rahiza, Jafni and Simson (the person who recruited me..haha! jd geng daaa youuu!!)

Now that I am starting to know most people that I interact with at work, I find it easier to get around my work. But of course, it's impossible for me to know all the operator's names..but somehow, I will try my very best to be as polite and friendly as I can with all or er, most of them..afterall, for some reason, most of them think that I am just a clerk..haha! who cares la kan? janji dpt gaji accordingly..yes?

Hm..gotta get ready for tomorrow. It's currently Friday, but I still need to go to work tomorrow for a bit to finish up my stuff. Thanx to our callback allowance facility. Without it, I won't even bother to come to my office on Saturdays..huhuhuhuh..(what a spirit..!)

Owh..here's another picture of me at the office with my colleagues on one of the girls' last day at Sanmina-SCI..haiyak! And no, we don't dress up to work..and jeans are totally ALLOWED! Cool huh? I think so.. :P

From left: Christabelle (last day in Sanmina-SCI), me, Felicia and Carol

Until then people.. ~daaaa *wink wink*

p/s: Babe, aku rindu koerg banyak sgt..!!